Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You brought string cheese to the strip club
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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