clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dignity is for republicans.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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