Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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