Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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