dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
