Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
