Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize