The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
