we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize