would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
