That's when you crack a 10am beer
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
