BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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