Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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