Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i came on her dog
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
