i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
