Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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