It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
