I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
