So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
