so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
