Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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