Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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