Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize