Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
