drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I forgot how hot balto sounded
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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