Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
