True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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