the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
