lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize