Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Randomize
