The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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