I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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