thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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