Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
