I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
