Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
