where does the pee come out of this thing
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Drunk is not a location!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
