weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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