Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Alive.
So much puke
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
