Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
