i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
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Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
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Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.