just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
