quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
