i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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