is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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