Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
