she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Sext me about skeletons
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
