I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
