Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm really busy with my period
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