i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I am available for nakedness
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
