if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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