I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
