If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
