Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
