; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
