I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
