We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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