You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
