Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
