We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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