By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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