you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
