So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
