Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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